Advice to Live By

Don't piss off your boss' mistress, she will make your life a living hell and probably try to get you fired. I know this from experience as this is what is happening to me. Toni LaBitch who I sit next (I call her the Dirty Tramp, my mother calls her Slut Lady - you can call her what ever you like) was being a complete condescending bitch while the boss was out of town which I did not appreciate so I spoke to her in the same tone she was speaking to me - which she did not appreciate - weird. So she made up a tall tale about how lazy I am, how I don't know how to write, how I don't know to pitch, how I don't think in terms of the "Big Picture" (What the fuck does that even mean, I feel like it's a term that gets tossed around a lot without any clarification). Any-who, apparently I need to turn my attitude around or else. I personally would like to find what "or else" means. 

If I get fired, I get unemployment - can anyone say Europe.